No, as it turns out. The dentist was honest with me in telling me that it's a muscle relaxant, Sildalud by name. I wasn't scheduled to go in to the dentist but I was getting pains in the molars surrounding the implant and didn't want to take any chances. After all, if I hadn't ignored teeth shifting around on that side for as long as I did we might have caught the matter earlier. Early enough? Good question. But the mere worry of that tooth implant going bad again is enough to scare me, and I wouldn't blame the dentist for dosing me with an anti-anxiety drug, I really wouldn't. But he didn't.
I'm now more mindful when I go to bed to pull a blanket up over my neck and jaw. I caught myself chattering just before falling asleep and am reminded that when I'm cold I do clench my teeth, conscious or not, and that this was the likely source of the pain.
Eye doctors I'm less impressed. The eye chart tests came in 20/20 for the right eye and 20/15--slightly farsighted--for the left. This is a desirable outcome even if it means the eyes are uneven and they definitely were that day. My disappointment, though...the doctor was pulling off his scrubs when he came to the office to talk to me and I remarked on that, how busy he is. He is. Most Korean doctors are tell you the truth, though I understand that's doctors period. He was mildly annoyed at the left eye gone farsighted because he apparently confused me with a patient who got monovision (that is, left eye corrected to nearsighted for reading, right eye to far for other tasks, an approach I refused). I know you're busy, dude, but my charts are right there and "Reading glasses okay" should be prominently on that chart. Farsighted my ass--I was nearsighted and knew it, though the results made me question that. Definitely double vision though, as the eye chart is black on white and digital besides, making it the high contrast that my eyes 'love'. That was November 19th.
So last weekend I go to my old optometrist/sunglasses connection and I manage to talk him out of a simple exam, no glasses at all. Surprise surprise, -0.75 in both eyes--nearsighted. I realized this most strongly when I was riding my bike home Friday and failed to recognize a close colleague in the market until she was right on top of me.
I'm biking again but careful to do so when the light is good and my brain not otherwise occupied, so not as often or as far as before. My muscles are not happy with this, but they need it, my lungs need it to finally clear this allergy/infection crap, my heart needs it, my mental health needs it, and my eyes definitely need the workout. My temples are still achy from Friday and Sunday's rides, compounded by deliberately doing far focus when I was walking last night and this morning. Aware of the ankle traps in this country, I only do that when I'm quite confident of what's underfoot but that's basically the walking route home from coffee so it's doable.
Oddly this morning I forgot my steroid drops before leaving the apartment so decided to take them when I got to my destination. Was it my imagination, or was my distance vision better this way? Things five or 8 yards away were clear where last Friday--evening, to be fair-- I only had clarity at two yards. I should go take a walk and test this hypothesis. Here inside the office though, nope. The ficus at five yards has a glamorous soft focus to it. The library stairs outside in lovely natural light are only almost in focus. A gray day--light level matters and contrast matters.
It's important to note that contrast matters more than light when it comes to ghosting. Closeup, nothing ghosts anymore. Okay, this screen as I type has tiny ghosties but I hardly see them. The calendar in my cubicle they come and go (reaches for eyedrops since dryness affects this, and computer screens discourage blinking. Sodium hyaluronate, yum. It's actually the good stuff, since I appear to have left my mere Artificial Tears at home. Yes, of course I have a backup with me, but it's hermetically sealed) This momentarily makes the ghosties worse, like when you're crying and your vision goes to shit. The ficus is only slightly clearer. The library stairs are paradoxically less clear. The ghosts on the calendar go away when I close my right eye.
Yes, all of this is annoying, and had better go away by spring.
Meanwhile nights have gotten less sparkly. Plenty of starbursts and black rainbows, these things I'm okay with. The Air Jordan logos now look more like ballerinas, more horizontal than vertical. There is a definite difference between each of my eyes, but I don't recall which is which. One catches star-ray distortions, the other gives me glorified ghosties. Progress, but not enough.
This had better all go away by spring.
Some pictures. I find this one interesting so I'm putting it first. The vision simulator says this:
"Vision Quality Disparities:Patients with bilateral eye injury or LASIK complications may report different aberrations in each eye. With both eyes open, these aberrations are synthesized to yield a composite image. However, one eye usually contributes more to the resulting composite than the other, a phenomenon known as "ocular dominance." This simulation illustrates one possible scenario, in which vision in the left eye is blurred following LASIK, whereas vision in the right eye is ghosted. Drag the slider right and left to control the degree of ocular dominance between eyes. The default if set at about 75% in favor of the right eye, reflecting the fact that for most individuals, eye dominance follows handedness."Note where I've set the slider, towards the blurry eye and away from the ghosted one. That's my vision under
good middling lighting conditions. Here are my ballerina starbursts, roughly. It's very hard to get an accurate version of this since it seems to combine starbursts and ghosting. Also the really cool starbursts have a webby quality that the simulator does not include. And finally the ghosting. Only in high contrast situations, so it's not as bad as this picture makes it look. The photos on the menu, for example, aren't that bad. The text definitely is. Now to get some work done.